Feeling Alone Even When You're Not, Why I Built a Circle for Women Like You

I was nine years old.

New school. My parents were getting divorced. And in that particular school, in that particular town, at that particular moment nobody's parents were divorced.

Nobody's.

I walked into that school carrying something that made me different in a way I did not have words for yet. Not different like interesting. Different like wrong. Different like the thing you do not talk about. Different like... we do not know what to do with you so we will just leave you standing slightly outside the circle and hope you figure it out.

I never really figured it out.

Not in that school. Not in the ones after. Not in the workplaces or the friendships or the communities I have moved through in the decades since. There has always been this quiet persistent feeling of standing just slightly outside the circle. Surrounded by people. And completely, inexplicably alone.

If you know that feeling,  if you have ever typed something like feeling alone even when surrounded by people into a search bar at a strange hour,  this is for you.

The Loneliness That Does Not Make Sense

The kind of lonely I am talking about is not the loneliness of having no one. It is quieter than that and in some ways harder to name.

It is the loneliness of being seen but not really known. Of having conversations but not real ones. Of showing up fully in a room and leaving feeling like nobody quite got you. Of smiling and nodding and contributing and going home and sitting in the quiet and thinking,  was I even really there?

It is the loneliness of being the wrong kind of different. Not eccentric-interesting-different. Just, off. Just slightly outside whatever frequency everyone else seems to be on.

And what makes it so hard to talk about is that from the outside everything looks fine. You have people. You have a life. You are not technically alone. So you learn to not talk about it. You learn to smooth it over and show up and be grateful for what you have and wonder quietly what is wrong with you that it still does not feel like enough.

Nothing is wrong with you.

You just have not found your room yet.

What I Did With It

For most of my life I waited. I figured the right room would eventually appear and I would walk into it and finally feel what belonging feels like.

I tried a lot of rooms. Workplaces. Friendships. Programs and masterminds and communities built around things I cared about. Some of them were good. Some of them were warm. None of them felt like,  oh. Here. This is it. This is where I belong.

And then I started building my spiritual coaching practice. And I thought...this is it. The women in this world will be my people.

And there were glimpses. Real ones. Women who spoke my language, who understood that this work is not just a business, it is a calling. But they were scattered. And the spaces we were moving through, the programs, the masterminds, the online communities, were not quite built for us.

Too spiritual for the business world. Too business-minded for the purely spiritual world. Always slightly outside the circle.

So I stopped waiting for the room to appear. And I built it.

Rooted and Rising

I called it Rooted and Rising because that is what I see in the women I am trying to reach. Not lost. Not broken. Grounded in something real and in the middle of becoming something more.

It is a free twice-monthly virtual circle. Sixty minutes. For women in sacred work, coaches, healers, spiritual practitioners, and any woman who is building something from the soul up, or any woman who is tired of feeling like she is doing life alone.

Each gathering has a theme. A short teaching. A guided hypnosis experience, because the women who give so much deserve to be held too. And then time to just be with each other. Real sharing. Just women finally in a room where they do not have to explain themselves.

We are in our Founder's Circle season right now , free to join while we build this together. The women who show up now will always be honored as the ones who were here first.

Our first gathering theme is Coming Home. Not a place. Not a person. The feeling of finally being inside your own life again.

I built this for you. And honestly, I built it for the nine year old version of me who walked into that school and could not find her room.

She deserved a room. So do you.

Join us on Meetup here → [INSERT MEETUP LINK]

And if you want to feel how I hold space before you show up, the Quiet Remembering audio is free and it is 11 minutes. Quiet Remembering Audio

Also worth reading: You're Not Failing. You're Just Tired.

Cassidy (Still building the room I always needed) Green💚